I am much prettier than all these people.

What is winter break if not a time to indulge your narcissistic side as you lie on the couch in pj's sipping hot cocoa? I stumbled upon this website from a friend's MySpace page and delighted in uploading picture after picture of myself to reveal the identity of my celebrity twin until MyHeritage told me I look like Stephen Chow. You know, I might look a smidge Asian when I smile but that doesn't make me a man.

Il Neige!

I made it snow this morning in Charleston, SC. 32°47′00″N, 79°56′00″W. Snow is not found here. Unless I am half-awake in bed wishing for an excuse to miss class and start Thanksgiving break a day early. Today was the earliest snow on record for this city. Annnd school wasn't closed but I decided to stay home anyway.

So now we're more than 2/3 of the way through fall semester of our first year. And I think I already know at least one of each of these ... Pretty funny. The Twelve Types of Med Students (A Cartoon Brought to you by ScutMonkey)

Limited free time, you understand.

Oscar is laying beside me here in bed and making this entry rather difficult by licking my hands as I try to type. If I were to guess, I'd say he's telling me it's time for bed. My eyes are telling me that too, partly because I left my glasses on the dining room table and partly because they're tired of looking at tiny print. I know I should go to bed soon especially with the prospect of being called into the clinic anytime between now and 6 o'clock in the morning and the knowledge that lecture begins at 8 sharp. But now that I've finished pre-reading tomorrow's lecture I want to catch up on life outside of school. Right now consisting of The Facebook ...

A week from now and I'll be half of the way through my summer course in gross anatomy. So far, I really can't be disappointed in my performance although I have to admit, I am frustrated by the grading scale in this class. And I hate to mention anything about grades, but it's an issue for any medical student who wants to pick their specialty and not have a specialty pick them. Well anyhow, our professor decided that a 95 is a reasonable cutoff for a 4.0. And after the first exam I am just one point shy of that goal, but I'm afraid I'll get further and further from it with each exam so I'm doing my best to keep expectations low. I have, however, already been approached regarding a teaching assistant position in the fall. That's encouraging ...!

In other news, Victor came down with a nasty cold on Thursday, which could've been the flu or strepp throat. The world may never know and hopefully I won't find out either. He's done his best to avoid me all weekend to spare me the miserable infection, which meant watching World Cup alone on Saturday. Sad. Although I suppose I should be thanking him since I am still healthy.

That's it for my near half-time report. Just wanted to put the word out there that all is continuing to go well for me in med school. In fact, when I think about it I realize that I've calmed down considerably since the course began. During the first two weeks, I lost eight pounds due to stress even on a solid diet of Mexican food! Cheesy quesadillas and burritos were apparently no match for my psychotic metabolism. Since then, I've found a good groove and slightly more variable diet that now includes vegetables and fruit. I even exercise once a week. That's plenty.

Hope all's well with you out there in the world.

Like a fish to water ...

I have taken to gross anatomy! No one would have believed this only a couple weeks ago, least of all myself, and yet come the first day of lab dissection despite the cartwheels of my intestines, I was the one out of our five person tank group to brandish my scalpel and score the superficial back. Since then I've been the hands behind some of our most intricate labs like the brachial plexus and most recently the hand. Nothing bothers me. Not the act of dissection, the smell of dissection, the look, the feel. It's all fascinating. I am developing a very strong bond to Thelma, our gracious cadaver. She has helped me to conquer my fears and the boost of confidence is truly remarkable.

Now each day as I walk to the hospital parking garage I stare longingly at the brand new hospital under construction. A very good feeling, I must say, compounded many times by the encouraging emails, cards, and comments from my friends!

This very good feeling is only marginally undermined by an impending radiology quiz on Friday and the first written exam and practical all day Monday.

Signing off ...

My last supper

I've repeatedly mentioned to everyone I know that I'm going to be supremely busy this summer. No one believes me. I suspected that Victor did not fully identify with my woe and it was confirmed when we went out with my new friend Sydney and her boyfriend, Michael, to play darts at a bar downtown four nights ago. He confessed later that he had taken Mike aside to ask him just how occupied Sydney and I would be over the next couple months. And, of course, I was right. This isn't good news but I've known it would be this way and I'm happy to buckle down for a shitty summer knowing that fall semester will be that much easier. Then Victor, wonderful man that he is, took me out on the town to celebrate my last night with a social life between now and August. I got to wear my hot white dress to a cool, upscale seafood restaurant off Meeting. The food was exceptional and my wine was superb. If you've ever tried Pouilly Fuisse, you know what I mean. Because even though I was on call for SAFE, I could not resist a second glass ...

No calls though, thank God, which brings me to my first day of school! Today I attended an abbreviated orientation followed by lunch with my twenty-four new classmates, capped off with a fine introductory lecture. The day went smoothly and I am excited for my first crack at a cadaver tomorrow afternoon ...

Tonight I don't have too much studying to do so I'm going to just finish pre-reading for tomorrow's lecture, jump in the shower, and take Oscar for a quick stroll around the neighborhood before I hit the hay this evening.

Things are about to get hectic but I think I'll manage to stay grounded here.

Gradual desensitization

My Summer of Death begins in just short of a week and I've nearly completed a preventative course of treatment. One day, on a whim, after sitting in on a couple instructional videos and clinical lectures discussing various methods for rehabilitating victims of traumatic events, I decided to psychoanalyze myself with regard to medical school. And I discovered that since deferring on the first day of school last fall, I have developed a general fear of the anatomy laboratory.

I believed my fear of gross lab to be a fear of the unknown. For instance, where was it? Who went inside? What happened to those people? I also feared my reaction and others' reaction to my reaction. What if I had a syncopal episode? When I came to, would I find myself in one of the metal formaldehyde tanks?

I had to sort this out before starting my class in June. So, as the ever resourceful quack psychologist that I am, I devised a way to gradually desensitize myself to the anatomy lab and this somewhat troubling matter of dead bodies.

First, I read a clever, funny book titled Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers and it occurred to me that part of the key to surviving gross anatomy is not to lose your sense of humor. That doesn't mean skipping rope with your cadaver's intestines, it just means don't be a sensitivity nazi and get the most enjoyment out of what is an intense experience no matter how you look at it.

Second, I asked where it was. My intent was not to go inside once I determined its location in the BSB but rather to ride the elevator up to the sixth floor, size up the big metal doors of the lab, peer through the crack in between the doors, and then leave. Quickly.

Third, I asked other students about their reflections on anatomy class. Whether they loved it (that'll be the future surgeon) or detested every minute they were forced to spend in the laboratory, they all got through it one way or another and said that all their classmates had made it too even those who had to retake the course. It is doable. Good to know ...

Fourth, my dead people book. The dissections actually look nice and not like someone buzzsawed their way through the body cavities.

Fifth, my friends Sydney and Michael gave me a sneak peak of the anatomy lab sans dead people. I saw the big metal tables, some brains in jars left over from neuroscience classes, the body bin (where severed legs go to do I don't know what), and the big leg-operated sinks for cleaning up.

Sixth, I discovered a website full of video dissections from the University of Wisconsin. It's fantastic. In case you're wondering, yes, I did watch a few of the videos. You can too. I thought rather than post pictures of the deceased I'd let you decide whether or not your interested in viewing the carnage.

Seventh, I contacted the course director and requested a bonafide tour of the lab. The bodies had been pulled out so I saw the room filled with body bags and learned which row I'd be working in for the duration of the summer. Then, my professor proceeded to answer all of my questions and proved to be a really good-natured, funny fellow. He told me about his wife and his previous work history and as it turns out he developed a migration assay that I read lots about in my cardiogenetic studies. Cool!

And so far so good! I'm feeling great now and actually getting excited for the first day of class on Tuesday!! So psyched in fact that I've begun pre-reading about the brachial plexus, which is supposedly the toughest part of our first dissection: upper limb and superficial back.

I bought a picturebook of dead people.

In my spare time, I now enjoy looking at hundreds of photos of dissected human beings. This is the newest development to speak of in the process of becoming transmogrified into a medical student. I considered posting pictures because I have a pretty good feeling that you'd like to see my new morbid passtime for yourselves, but something also tells me it'd be tacky to upload pictures of dead people onto my weblog. Sorry to disappoint, but please do check out Rohen's Color Atlas of Anatomy if you find yourself overwhelmed with curiosity or just remotely interested.

Easter surprises.

Oscar loves frogs. The very first toy Oscar ever adored so much that he learned it by its name and by its associated techno song was his "crazy frog" pictured here on the right after he literally loved the stuffing out of it. He then discovered a similarly flattened frog outside on Easter during an afternoon stroll in our neighborhood. Oscar was very excited to show me his new toy which he concealed in his mouth so that I would have the pleasure of fishing around with my fingers for what I thought was a piece of bark. How delighted was I to pull out a smooshed frog carcass? Sooo delighted.

Another surprise on Easter was that I had to work at 7am. It was insanely busy and when I finally got off and walked to my car ... First, understand that I'm talking about my new car. The one that I am leasing on financial aid monies. The 2006 RSX Type S. It wouldn't start. What could be the matter with my brand-new automobile I asked myself and tried again to turn it over. And over. And over. And over. Nothing doing. So I did what any young lady would do. I called my dad. I called my boyfriend. I called Acura Luxury Care for a tow truck. Then I sat on the curb, ate the cappuccino chocolate chip muffin I got from work, and tried to think what on earth it could be since the battery was fine, the accessories worked, it had oil, and a full tank of gas, and then I began to feel a little offended when I noticed that guys kept walking past me and my car with its hood up apparently unaffected by my distress and my damsel status. Goddamn hippies.

Long story short ... my dad shows up, pops the clutch in and out, and starts my asshole car like there's no problem whatsoever. His theory (apart from the serious possibility that I'm an idiot) is that the safety on the clutch engaged either because my floor mat was up too high or I didn't depress it all the way on my first attempt to start the car so that the safety mechanism was stuck and preventing the engine from starting until my Dad kicked at the clutch a few times. Errr. By the time all of this was done it was too late to go to our first choice restaurant for Easter brunch so we checked out this hole in the wall seafood joint nearby. Surprise! It was reeeeally delicious! Finally a good surprise.

In closing, here's a picture of little Roo on the beach this past weekend. He is chewing on ice.